A little more than six months after April 15th is a second tax day when I get to teach all about the tax system to our children. It’s called the Daddy Tax.
I, having done nothing to earn the candy my children bring home Halloween night, extract from them a candy toll. I alone determine how much I take and what I want–over much protest, it goes without saying. But they have no recourse, no authority to appeal to. Besides, the tax goes to feed the hungry: me–sometime late tomorrow morning when I’m feeling a bit famished before lunch. I can tell I’m having an effect, since my seven year old protested that it wasn’t fair because I did this last year too. “Yes,” I responded. I also added that every year it will get worse.
When they’re older I think I’ll teach them about the Laffer Curve. I’ll raise the Daddy Tax rate so high that they decide that it’s just not worth it to Trick or Treat for very long since I’m just going to confiscate most of what they earn anyway.