Unused headlines

Byline: | Category: Uncategorized | Posted at: Monday, 23 April 2007

We here at BobKrumm.com have long prided ourselves on maintaining a certain high standard as we strive to comment seriously about serious matters.

. . . and then a story like the Sheryl Crow Toilet Paper Tale begins to unravel, and we just can’t help ourselves.

Here are the Top Ten Sheryl Crow headlines we didn’t have time to use today:

10.  Rove poo-poos Crow’s questions

9.  Rosie makes Crow the butt of her joke (Disturbing Mental Image Alert)

8.  Crow’s Bad Moon Rising

7.  Crow dumps on Rove

6.  A (diaper) change would do her good

5.  Crow falls behind in her paperwork

4.  Crowstools

3.  Dookin’ it out with Karl Rove

2.  Eating crow just got messier

And the Number One story we didn’t have time to use:

1.  Sheryl Crow falls to Number Two

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11 Responses to “Unused headlines”

  1. Mike Says:

    Noo please, rosie’s ass nooo. Thanks for the alert, dude!

  2. Frank Says:

    I hear Crow’s next project is an album of Three Dog Night covers, tentatively titled, “E coli’s Coming”.

  3. Paul Says:

    Christ, somebody mentioned Rosie’s ass. There goes breakfast.

  4. instapinch.com » Blog Archive » Too Good to Pass Up! Says:

    […] From BobKrumm.com: […]

  5. Cecil Says:

    You know, I really think Sheryl’s getting a bum rap here. I appreciate her stern views about the environment and resent all of these back-door attacks on her. I hope she doesn’t take it sitting down.
    (Full disclosure: these jokes aren’t original. I remembered them from an issue of National Lampoon sometime back in the ’70s. There are some advantages to being an old fossil.)

  6. m Says:

    “Wad or fold: Crow’s ethical dilemma”
    “PoMo Hygiene: Crow’s Wipe(out)”
    “Saving the planet one dank fetid place at a time”

  7. KSM Says:

    No wonder Karl Rove didn’t want her to touch him…..

  8. Bill Says:

    Lance Armstrong leave Crow over Chapped Ass

  9. Steve Says:

    “Crow Extends the Fight Against Toilet Paper Overuse, Appears on Hollywood Squares”

  10. Mike D. Says:

    Well, it was from the 1964 Kalidoscope, the C. Estes Kefauer Memorial High School yearbook by National Lampoon. The Exact Wording is too long for me to type in but it was written by Dr. Humphrey C. Cornholt, the pricipal and secretly, The Mad Crapper:

    “Now, at the tail end of my first year on the principal’s stool at Kefauver High, certain thoughts begin to emerge and I would like to pass a few of these along to you. … Second, it gives me great pleasue to be able to release all that I’ve been inside me for so long, and to tell you what a nice feeling it has been to perform my duties as Principal among such firm and regular young people such as you.”

  11. Jim Treacher Says:

    Yo, MC Rove raps (again)!